This is a countdown to the breakdown.

These days I feel like I have to concentrate on holding myself together, as if letting my mind wander for a mere minute will make me lose my grip and cause a meltdown of extremely large proportions.

I feel like a ticking time bomb. Just one careless move, and boom goes Flora.

I feel like I’m just gluing myself together and trying my best to deal with my situation as normal and as calmly as possible. I have to remember to juggle my responsibilities even with this black cloud looming over my head, because I’m very aware that people don’t have to care about my drama, especially the God-people, the dreaded teachers. On top of everything else, I have to keep my composure and act like nothing is wrong, especially in the social setting. I’ve been on auto-pilot for two whole weeks now. Last week, I semi-secluded myself like a newbie hermit, because I didn’t want to act happy around people yet. This week has been easier, but I still feel relieved to be left alone with my thoughts at night. I know I’ve been a drag these past few days, so I’m working on that, on a perfectly flawless prototype of Android Flora. I’m beginning to feel insanely jealous of the people who know how to mask their worries and act as if nothing is wrong, because I suck at it. And my problems are relatively tiny compared to other peoples’, so there is absolutely no excuse for me to fail at faking happy. No. Excuse. Whatsoever.

Okay, this post has been messy enough. I’m leaving it as it is, for now. And I’ll be turning off the comments section, because I don’t want to know who has read and who hasn’t read this post. But thanks anyway to those who do get to read this. Peace, y’all.