Epilogue

All or nothing was more like a tiny morsel or nothing. But still the fates ignored that one tiny, insignificant grain I was holding out and chose, instead, nothing. But I let it go. I wanted this too, and the more it was prolonged the more I felt I needed it. I pushed the ultimatum as low as it could go, and it gave. Without a push or a tug or a stroke on the cheek. Quite laughable was the fact that it was more like a cascading waterfall: intentional and instinctive. Maybe I wanted it to be that way, or I knew all along what would happen. I knew there would be a tide, and I was prepared for it. Have I been preparing myself all this time? Possibly yes, because my future plans did not revolve around this one fleeting feeling. Or, quite possibly, no, because I laughed and cried like the world would end, like I had no future to speak of. It all sounds so crazysadbeautiful right now. But I like it better like this. I chose nothing, and at the moment, it seems like the perfect choice.