I are Confoosed

Oh my god.

I just realized something.

Could it be that this intense, crippling insecurity I’ve been feeling for almost four years is nothing more than a pure, unabashed, unrequited crush?

The idea came to me while I was browsing said person’s picture albums for the third time in one day.  It has been a habit of mine, stalking-but-not-stalking said person, reading blog entries and comments and looking at pictures (I use direct URLs so I won’t have to pass the actual page and get caught not-stalking…brilliant, noh?) all the while insulting said person’s every single little mistake in grammar or rolling my eyes at shallowness of said person’s music playlist or tsk-tsking at any indication of bad behaviour. Analyzing a potential crushie’s every move isn’t exactly how I go about during my first stages of liking someone, but this case is sort of…unique. Exemptions to the rule are very much expected. *snicker, snicker*

Well, at least I know now what this thing could be, and figure out a plan how to kill it. A crush is just a crush is just a crush, but I’d rather not direct it at said person, because it’s way too freaky.